I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My bed smells like the plague
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize