I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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