I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
