what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
