and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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