I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
