it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize