i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
my poor anus
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
