"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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