Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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