T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
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I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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