thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
