Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
