I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
