Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
