i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
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I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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