so explain again why im purple
no
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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