dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There r osticjed everywhere
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
