how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
