Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
