I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
