Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
