lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
