I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
