you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my poor anus
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
