I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
