Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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