Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

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(415): View more from California

You kept trying to hail an ambulance

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?

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(428): View more from

she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.

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(650): View more from California

I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.

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(+10): View more from

I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success

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