She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
