They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
