I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
