I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
