thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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