xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
