He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
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