I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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