This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
