So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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