i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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