Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
