If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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