next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
