I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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