After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
