after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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