Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
