Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize