hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
