New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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