no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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