Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have aggressive nipples.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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