I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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