I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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