Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Randomize
