two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
