Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
