I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Randomize
